Sad 25-Year-Old Gives Love Advice And The Internet Listens
When you idealize, you’re not loving unconditionally. You’re making that person out to be your idealistic version of a lover which doesn’t actually exist in the partner you chose.
Yes, people grow and change as they mature and so do people’s priorities but if you’ve made that commitment for the long haul, you should have been over the whole foot on the dash a long time ago.
Your goal in life shouldn’t be to conform to someone’s idealization of you. Sometimes people just change and grow apart and that’s not a bad thing. Being in different relationships teaches you things and helps you to grow. And it’s often a two-way street rather than one person’s shortcomings that makes a relationship fail.
Taylor admits that she was “extremely bitter and sad” when she wrote her “poem.”
But experts say that very little is actually known about why relationships fail.
“We know a lot more about the relationships that worked out than the ones that didn’t,” Michael Rosenfeld, a sociologist from Standford whose been studying relationships since 2009, told Washington Post. “The way the census and other surveys tend to collect data just doesn’t produce a very good picture. People also don’t recall failed relationships too well.”